Let’s Make Stone Soup

As a pluralistic religion, Unitarian Universalism is made of many stories, but there is one story that seems to have more staying power than others. It’s a story I heard when as a child at Heritage Universalist Unitarian Church, and one which I repeat regularly in my role as Director of Lifespan Faith Development, here at First – Stone Soup. If you are unfamiliar with the story, let me recap it for you quickly – a village experiencing famine is visited by stranger (or several). After the villagers tell the stranger they do not have enough food to feed them a full meal, the stranger decides to take matters into their own hands by making a big pot of Stone Soup for the whole village to share – filling their traveling pot with nothing but water and a stone. Fascinated by the stranger, villagers start asking, “can you really make soup from a stone?” “Of course” the stranger replies. “But,” they add, “the soup really would shine with a bit of carrot.” And, at that comment, one of the villagers offers a small carrot from their stores. Then, the soup could use a potato, and another villager offers a potato. And, on and on it goes until their is a hearty soup, ready for everyone to share. The message being that while we may not be able to give everything, everyone can give something, and in this way we can meet our collective needs. At it’s core, Stone Soup is a story about mutual aid, and it’s what I imagine church should be like at it’s best. And, so, I set out to learn more about Mutual Aid during my sabbatical. Here are some quotes and questions about Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During this Crisis (and The Next) by Dean Spade…

Quotes

• At it’s best, mutual aid actually produces new ways of living where people get to create systems of care and generosity that address harm and foster well-being. p. 2
• Mutual aid is collective coordination to meet each other’s needs, usually from an awareness that the systems we have in place are not going to meet them. p. 7
• As people were forced into systems of wage labor and private property, and wealth became increasing concentrated, our ways of caring for each other have become more and more tenuous. p. 8
• Under capitalism, social problems resulting from exploitation and the maldistribution of resources are understood as individual moral failings, not system problems. p. 13
• Solidarity across issues and populations is what makes movements big and powerful. Without that connection, we end up with disconnected groups, competing for attention and funding, not backing each other up and not building power. p. 15
• Mutual aid projects are participatory. Solving problems through collective action rather than waiting for saviors. p. 16
• Audacity is our capacity. p. 18
• The charity model we live with today has origins in Christian European practices of the wealthy giving alms to the poor to buy their own way into heaven. p. 21
• Activism and mutual aid shouldn’t feel like volunteering or like a hobby – it should feel like living in alignment with our hopes for the world and with our passions. It should enliven us. p. 27
• Part of the reason our dream of a savior government is so compelling is that it is hard for us to imagine a world where we meet core human needs through systems that are based on principles of collective self-determination rather than coercion. p. 39
• How do we imagine “scaling up” mutual aid to a point where everyone has what they need, and gets to meaningfully co-govern and co-steward the structures and conditions of their lives?… Governance and innovation remain local, but knowledge, support, and solidarity are networked and shared. p. 40 – 41
• People who have gotten to participate in decision-making and feel co-ownership of the project stick around and do the work. People who feel unclear about whether their opinion matters or how to be part of making decisions tend to drift away. p. 66
• We can make intentional decisions to change group culture by having conversations about a group’s tendencies and methods, talking about what is working and what is not, reflecting on how our own behavior can match what we want to see, and influencing each other. p. 71
• We are only practiced at being allowed to make decisions as individual consumers, and rarely get practice making truly collective decisions. p. 75
• When our groups are focused on getting important things done “out there,” there is rarely room to process our strong feelings or admit that we do not know how to navigate our roles “in here.” p. 108
• Burnout is prevented or lessened when we feel connected to others, when there is transparency in how we work together, when we can rest as needed, when we feel appreciated by the group, and when we have skills for giving and receiving feedback. p. 108
• We live in a society based on disposability… Humility, compassion for ourselves, and compassion for others are antidotes to disposability culture. p. 126

Questions

• When, during your life, have you participated in “collective coordination?” If you’ve never participated in it, can you think of a time when you would have welcomed it?
• How do you find modern society makes it difficult to care for others, or for others to care for you?
• What do you make of the phrase “Collective Self-determination?”
• Spade infers that, when it comes to mutual aid projects, ‘the people’ and ‘the work’ are one in the same – that to do the work, we must focus on the people. This is a counter cultural view of project work, which separates ‘the people’ and ‘the work.’ Think about past projects or groups (committees / teams) you’ve been a part of. How did those projects / groups view ‘the people’ and ‘the work?’ Which of those projects / groups felt “in alignment” with your “hopes” and “passions?”
• Could our culture’s pension for individuality and disposability be the reason people are so prone to leave when things ‘don’t go their way?’ Is there a way to combat this, to persuade people about the benefits of ‘collective care?’

To be honest with y’all, I didn’t love this book the first time I read through it. At times it felt like it was based too much in both basic reality, and abstract theory. And, I felt as if it didn’t offer much I could take with me into a church setting. But, upon review, I think it had some important bits of fat to chew on. Not unlike our next book. See you in October as we consider The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson.