Carpet Tiles and the Purpose of Church

Beloved,

May I tell you a story? 

One Sunday morning, several months ago, I found myself arriving late to church.  Not late enough to miss the service, mind you, but late enough that my to-do list suddenly went from being practical to aspirational – no way was I going to get it all done before 10 AM.  I sat for a spell to think: was there anything from my to-do list that I could drop?  To my horror, I realized, there was not.  The worry must have shown on my face, or in the frantic scramble I immediately launched myself into, because as I began to set up the VIP Lounge, a member of our church, who we’ll call “C” approached me. C wanted to know, was there anything he could do to help?

“Yes!” I exclaimed, “Thank you.  Could you finish setting up the VIP Lounge?”

At that, my daughter loudly proclaimed “I want to help too!”  And, so, C and my daughter began, starting with the carpet tiles – my daughter, with her limited mobility, handing carpet tiles over to C, and C locking them together on the floor – the two of them smiling and chatting all the while.

In the end, the VIP Lounge and all the other tasks on my to-do list were finished before the start of service.  What a relief!  However, I couldn’t help but notice that the carpet tiles weren’t exactly ‘perfect.’  Instead of two distinct carpets – one brown checkerboard and one all green – there was only one large carpet; and all the browns and all the greens were all mixed together.  As a detail-oriented person, I couldn’t help but feel I had failed by delegating this task to another person.  However, there wasn’t anything to be done, as the service was soon to start.

I don’t recall much of that Sunday’s service.  I think it may have been an intergenerational service, but I honestly don’t remember.  Here’s what I do remember: Children playing in the VIP Lounge without any concern for the carpet tiles, my daughter beaming with pride that she was able to help, and me, reflecting on my own thoughts and feelings…

If I wasn’t late today, I could have set up the VIP Lounge by myself.  And, I probably could have done it before my daughter asked to help.  But, what if I hadn’t?  Would I have allowed her to help?  Sometimes her help is not helpful at all.  Maybe I would have allowed her to help, but I probably would have been more focused on the task than chatting.  And, I probably would have become visibly frustrated when she didn’t hand me the ‘right’ carpet tile.  That probably wouldn’t have made her feel great.  She looks like she feels great now, and so do the children playing in the VIP Lounge.  I really need to remember that church isn’t about perfection, it’s about connection.

After church that Sunday, I approached C.  “Thank you,” I offered.

“For what?” he asked.

“For reminding me that perfection is often the enemy of connection,” I said as I proceeded to explain about the carpet tiles.

It’s easy, I believe, to fall into a pattern of thinking perfection is the end goal.  If the devil is in the details, then perfection will surely eradicate the devil, and bring us everything we have ever desired.  This year alone, I’ve been involved in several conversations which seemed to hint that perfection will bring First Church everything from increased member engagement to happier members all around.  But, if my anecdote can be seen as indicative of real life – and I believe it can – that’s just not true!

So, I want to leave you today with a song (see below) and an affirmation, for the next time you feel drawn to perfection at First Church…

I am not perfect.  No one is perfect.  That is okay.

Nothing I do will be perfect.  Nothing anyone does will be perfect.  That is okay.

Perfection is the enemy of connection.  Connection is the purpose of church.

At church, I do not have to be perfect.  At church, nothing has to be perfect.  That is more than okay.

In appreciation for all your imperfect offerings,

Meredith